The best relationship advice I ever got

Love is what we all dream of and what makes it more dreamy are the movies, the songs, and today’s expectations around how a love relationship should look like. I am married to a person I fell in love with during my school time, and after having a distance relationship for over a decade we tied the knot. We are very much in love though and our fights, our differences of opinions, different tastes in life are the normality for us. I now realize one thing that was told to me by our principal when we were dating back then. She said, “Love is like a dessert, you have it in decent amounts after your meal, it is not your meal, if you take it as a meal it will make you sick.” Β Although we had our truly madly deeply moments back then and her advice fell on deaf ears, now they make more sense to me as they take the burden off us of how our relationship should be, we have our ways together but we also have our separate ways. We celebrate our relationship but we do have our space which we respect. When we cling too hard on love for our happiness we fall into a trap of blaming the other person for not making us feel a certain way, not doing things for us the way we wanted, but we should always remember we are solely responsible for our happiness. Our life is just not about the relationship we share with our partner, it is the relationship we share with ourselves. Our main course is what we do for our self to make us happy, they are our dreams, our ambitions, our hopes, and there we are alone in it, and then we come together to have this delicious dessert that makes our meal complete and add more joy to it.

63 comments

  1. Silky smooth, Sugary Sweet and A Lemon when tested!
    Very true narration!
    One who reads will remember his or her Loving Memories πŸ’—!
    I liked the Mind very much!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Yes… falling into love with your heart in your mouth can bruise your knees… one should gently open the door to love… walk in… and with eyes wide open… step carefully…
    πŸ‡―πŸ‡²πŸ–οΈ

    Liked by 6 people

  3. The dream
    tells me
    in his own way

    where I am opposite
    underestimate

    and where i
    at one point
    could come
    if i get better
    would understand

    what me
    my partner
    wanted to teach for the better

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Reblogged this on AmbersBlue and commented:
    We have to think of deserts when we are done with our meal. And we have to have our meal, multiple times a day. Whereas desert is an option we can choose to have any time in our lives. Thanks for writing this beautiful post!!!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thanks. πŸ™‚
      As kids, we don’t understand the psychological reason behind what grown-ups say to you but as you grow all the bits of advice of grown-ups start to make sense, but sometimes I wonder if naivety was better.πŸ˜…

      Liked by 3 people

  5. How are you?
    On Thu, Jun 3, 2021, 8:08 PM Smiling Little Things wrote:
    > malaikamuses posted: ” Love is what we all dream of and what makes it more > dreamy are the movies, the songs, and today’s expectations around how a > love relationship should look like. I am married to a person I fell in love > with during my school time, and after having a distanc” >

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Healthy relationships involve time together, and time separately but together. If that makes sense. We are our own person, who has chosen to spend this time with another, so if both agree it will work. Communication is the key, right?

    Thank you for sharing. πŸ’›

    Liked by 4 people

    • Yes, you got the correct zest of it. It completely makes sense to me. Communication, understanding and respect.
      Thanks for coming by and spending your time here. I really appreciate it. πŸ™

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Love , respect, understanding, trust combined with equal measure of breathing space is what makes a relationship strong…there is no ownership…just a belief of being always there for each other .
    Stay blessed πŸ™πŸ˜‡

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Well written article from personal experience.

    Thank you.

    Understanding each other is the most difficult task in any relationship and many fail because of 4, miscommunication, assumption presumption and egoistic nature.

    When both partners realise this and act accordingly…then the relationship is a Heaven

    If course it takes hell lot of time and patience and most importantly ‘ maturity’ level of each individual.

    Then one can believe in the theory of Soulmates.

    Apologies for this lengthy comment.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I read your blog post here with real interest. It is true that ultimately we are the one who is solely responsible for our decisions. There is so many thoughts here that I suggest that the paragraph be broken up as the thought changes. Also when I reach a break in a paragraph that is when I mentally take a breath and pause to absorb what I just read, and I missed those breaks in your post. Best wishes – David

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks David, for coming by and reading the post. I am thankful to you for making me realize that I am not giving pauses when the thought process is changing. Next time I will try to keep that in mind. I am new to blogging and still learning and any suggestions are most welcome. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Love has three forms. The first form that introduces us to it happens in adolescent age.
    Then the mind changes it’s form and becomes mental love. Here the nearness itself is fulfilling and the similarity of thought brings subtle satisfaction. Silence shared together becomes fulfilling in itself.
    Then the third happens at the level of soul, which is infinite. So it can happen with anything or anyone. Lao Tzu had it upon seeing a falling leaf from the tree. Here the two gets dissolved and only the soul remains.
    From here the spiritual (soul-spirit) journey begins. The journey that every human being has to embark upon in their last life. Is this your last life? The choice will make it happen too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Indeed!! You have given a beautiful discription of the forms of love. Love woven around similar thoughts may change when a person rise on his consciousness, but bond form with the soul is indelible. A peaceful silence between helps form the bond.
      Thanks for coming by and adding your beautiful perspective. ,πŸ™πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  11. β€œLove is like a dessert, you have it in decent amounts after your meal, it is not your meal, if you take it as a meal it will make you sick.” i am sold for this one

    Liked by 1 person

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